a good talk

i had a good talk with a friend of mine just the other day. we talked about our jobs, our family, our friends, and our social life. he's got a big target on his back -- attracting women who only want his money -- and we think i have a magnet hidden somewhere on me, attracting all the crazies left, right, and centre :b. although our experiences have been quite different, i seem to be the one who is much more cynical about relationships. i've learned a lot about myself, and what makes a good relationship, and although i've applied a lot of what i've learned, it doesn't seem to make a big difference.

take fighting for example. i've learned how to 'fight fair', what to say and what *not* to say, and even how to say it. but it seems to only work when two people understand how to fight fair and are working toward a common goal. if one person is talking calmly and the other person is moody and yelling at the top of their lungs, how can anything be resolved? taking a break is good but if one person continues to push their point in an aggressive manner, there's no end in sight.

my friend raised an important point -- it helps when both people have the same goals (personally and career-wise), the same values, ideals, the same outlook on life... perhaps thats where i fail -- not having the ability to recognize what the other person's outlook on life is...