Fighting fair

A great list I got from long ago, when I was going through a rough relationship. Thought I would share with all you loving couples out there :)

1) Understand and agree with each other what you are discussing
2) Stick to only one subject at a time. Identify and define the issues.
3) Talk about how you feel, not what you demand
4) Keep discussions, fights, issues, private
5) Don't try to read your partner's mind
6) Don't expect your partner to read your mind
7) Don't use "you". Don't put blame.
8) Take responsibility. Use "I".
9) Don't talk each other down
10) Don't hit below the belt
11) Don't wear your belt too high
12) Don't bring up past fights or issues as ammunition.
13) Actively listen with confirmation by paraphrasing
14) Don't interrupt. Give the other person equal time.
15) Ask questions that will clarify not judge. Don't begin with "why"
16) Don't involve other people's opinions.
17) Do not assume, guess, imagine, take for granted, theorize, surmise, speculate, make gestures, judgements, funny glances or faces about what your partner means. Find out!
18) Don't be afraid to apologize when you are wrong.
19) Don't argue about details.
20) After all feelings have been heard, agree to focus on a solution.